Mel C has revealed that everything feels awkward between the Spice Girls due to her and Victoria Beckham’s decision to turn down the upcoming reunion.

The 42-year-old joined Beckham in the refusal to celebrate the band’s 20th anniversary, which currently consists of Mel B, Emma Bunton and Geri Homer. She now acknowledges that not everyone took the decision lightly.

Mel C shared with Event magazine: “It’s a bit awkward at the moment to be honest. It’s going to be, isn’t it? But I do know we’ll get past it. We’ve all been through so much together, and we’re these five girls who did this incredible thing and that will unite us forever.

My nightmare is that people think I’m turning down the Spice Girls because I think my own album is going to be bigger. I don’t. I know it won’t be.’”

Despite declining a hefty sum to take part in the reunion, Mel C admits she loved being a part of the group. However, depression and severe eating disorders left her vulnerable and fragile during her time as a member.

“When the Spice Girls were at their biggest, I couldn’t even really look at myself in the mirror because I didn’t like what I saw. Depression, eating disorders, obsessive over-exercising; I went through all of it.

It just didn’t feel right to go back. I loved what we did as the Spice Girls and part of me will be Sporty Spice until I die. We had one reunion [in 2007] and I didn’t want to do that.

But I was talked round and it was the right thing to do, we had a great time and then we played at the closing ceremony for the Olympics in 2012. That to me was where [the Spice Girls] should have been laid to rest. Sometimes you just have to say no.”

However, she acknowledged that turning down the request didn’t come easy: “I’d like to say the money didn’t matter to me. I’m a single mother and I do have financial concerns.’

It was a really difficult decision. I didn’t take it lightly. I did go quite far down the route with the girls. I went to a lot of meetings but I just didn’t feel it was right in my gut. When I finally said no I just felt relief.’”