Presidential candidate Deez Nuts surges in polls

Move over Donald Trump, there’s a new top contender for Republican candidate- Deez Nuts of Iowa.

Nuts surged ahead in polls yesterday and became the number one trending topic on Twitter. Nuts stands on a platform which promotes a balanced budget and a nuclear deal with Iran.

This may sound like a headline from The Onion yet it is a genuine news story.

15-year-old Brady Olson registered Deez Nuts as an independent candidate with the Federal Election Commission last month. Nuts’ listed address in Wallingford, Iowa belongs in fact to Olsen’s parents Mark and Teresa. The 2,000 acre farm grows corn and soybeans.

The young man behind Nuts is about to start his sophomore year of high school. For this reason, despite the flood of requests, Nuts will only respond to questions via email.

The website for Deez Nuts includes a well thought out platform that includes expanding voting rights to American territories such as Puerto Rico and American Samoa as well as the deportation of any illegal immigrants who did not arrive as minors.

Why is Deez Nuts running for president? “To clear the way for a future third-party movement,’’ said Olsen.

Brady’s father, Mark, did not initially see he son’s actions as that big of a deal “A 15-year-old tells you that, what are you supposed to think?” said Mr. Olson.

However, as the news began to spread and calls from across the country quickly began to fill up his voice mail, Mr. Olson gave the idea more thought. “I’m like,’ Brady, what’s going on here?’’’

In recent polls, Nuts has won eight percent in Minnesota and seven percent in Iowa.

“I would say Mr. Nuts is the most ludicrous and unqualified third-party candidate you could have, but he’s still polling at 7, 8, 9 percent,’’ said Tom Jensen, the director of Public Policy Polling. “Right now the voters don’t like either of the people leading in the two main parties, and that creates an appetite for a third-party candidate.’’

Many hoped that the nationwide coverage Deez Nuts received after the North Carolina polls yesterday would result in the joke blowing over. Instead, Nuts has received more support than ever. He is now set to be included in this week’s opinion polls of New Hampshire.

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